February 28, 2008
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About last entry
I wasn’t really too worried about sharing my story. Truth is this is stuff I’ve dealt with over and over again. I’ve poked, prodded, examined and reexamined this part of my life over the years, many, many times. I’ve become so comfortable with this part of myself, that I don’t worry about sharing it. I’ve shared it with my daughters, because I’m convinced that they need to know exactly how dangerous that path is and possibly how vulnerable they may be. Someone mentioned that they bet my girls didn’t get away with anything. That is so true. As sneaky as I was, I’m on high alert. But on top of that, I’m open with my girls, we discuss everything…. more-so with Ducky who has always been more communicative, but both girls can talk to me about anything and everything. I make it my business to know all of their business, but not in a mean, punishing, judgemental way, more of a I want to help you make smart decisions and learn from your mistakes kind of way. I snoop into their lives and I make no bones about doing it. They know to expect it, and they know why. They laugh about it, but the truth is they know that I’m keeping on eye out on them and if they make a decision to do something their dad and I wouldn’t agree with, that they will have to face the consequences when we find out. Not if, but when. I believe that makes them consider their choices more carefully. At the same time, they can talk to me about any mistakes, bad decisions or just events in their life without fear of reprisal (most of the time) and judgement. We have a good relationship, and their not perfect but I’m proud of them and the choices they make. In a joking way we I tell them that if they don’t hate me during their teen years, I’m not doing my job as a parent. I let them know that I’m not afraid to have them angry with me, and that I’m their parent first, not their friend. It’s a tough balancing act, but one that’s worth it.
Now I say all of this because I have the impression that a lot of my regular readers were stunned and blown away by my entry. While I think my entry was very personal, it’s doesn’t feel that way because I’ve shared it so many times over the last 24 years. I’m not detached from it, I reread my entry thinking back on those days and remembering all the emotion tied to them. But it’s not a secret, and it’s not a sore spot, it just is what it is. My story. It’s intense, but not more so than many other stories out and much tamer than many that I’ve heard.
I guess I’m saying all of this in order to make this seem more….normal? I just felt like a lot of people were shocked and stunned and I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m any different than I ever was. Hmmm….. this isn’t really making sense, so I’m going to stop with the explanation and move on to something less emotionally charged.
Any Survivor fans out there? Was Ozzy brilliant tonight or what? And I have to say this, I don’t like James. I never really have, but the more I see of him, the less I like him as a person. He thinks that because he’s strong and in a position of power he can do and say whatever he wants and be a total jerk. I hate that type of superiority complex. Ugh. That would be one of my pet peeves if I were to answer the featured question. Along with talking on cell phones while driving, and eating with your mouth open, interrupting and being a one upper.
Question of the Day:What is your biggest pet peeve?
Comments (14)
I understand – I haven’t told my “growing up story” from the dark side for a long long time but I had much the same reaction when I did. You are such a joy that I just see you for the her and now. Dang I missed survivor tonight… James has been pissing me off this season…grrrrrr
I somehow missed the last entry. I’m sorry you had such a rough road, but how wonderful that you are still here to tell your story. You are an inspiration!
I missed that entry too, I still think your a freak though :ROTFL: Just kidding. I totally believe what you said about our past making us who we are today. I had some tough situations growing up, not so much with drugs or drinking (although I did try those things) but other stuff. I know things that happened in my past made me the parent I am today and being Trey and Savannah’s Mom is the most important thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’m not sorry or “poor me” about things that happened. I woudn’t change a thing. :big-smile:
@MsCatbert2You - Thank you! I’m glad you see my that way. As for James, he’s really making grrrrrrr…….
@ok123LetsGO - Thank you!
@homeschoolingthem - I AM a FREAK!!! LOL
:ROTFL::ROTFL: Me too, what’s that they say, takes one to know one! :ROTFL:
You were blessed to know you wanted out! So many hit bottom a burst like an egg shell! Pet peeve, right now is my granddaughter screwing up my computer and then saying I didn’t do anything! :hammer:
Don’t worry. I never assumed you were normal. That is part of your charm. You did turn out WAY better than most people faced with the same set of circumstances, though, which makes you awesome in my book.
As for pet peeves? Blaming adult failures/inadequacies on childhood/parents, kids who try to have a conversation with me when I haven’t given them any indication that I want to talk, dirty kids, and inconsiderate people, just to name a few. I must be a complete weeotch.
thanks for your kindness
i have alot of the same pet peeves as u do
@rubymay1029 - Well, I guess it’s all good then! LOL — especially since I’m not really normal — what exactly is normal anyways?
Have a great weekend. I have too many pet peeves.
Biggest pet peeve? Bad grammar, I suppose. And poor punctuation annoys me. Also, when people don’t capitalize anything or write in ALL CAPS BECAUSE I AM SCREAMING AT YOU.
I’m glad you shared your story. I think it has definitely made you a better parent. You sound like a terrific Mom. Using your own background to make sure your girls stay on the straight and narrow is just one positive side effect from overcoming drug/alcohol abuse. The fact that you overcame it is amazing all on it’s own. But then you went on to finish college and establish a solid marriage and family. I would dare say the odds were way against you having such a successful life.
I remember that you shared some of your story before and thought then, and still do, that it is brave, and wise of you to share your past. Too many children think their parents “don’t know what it is like”…when they did go down that path. It does make you a better, wiser parent and also harder to fool! It was an excellent entry.
I’m not a Survivor fan, but I did notice you were reading Pillars of the Earth. What did you think? You know there is a sequel just out this year, World Without End and is set about 200 years later. I haven’t read it but I did really enjoy Pillars when I read it some years ago. Haven’t tried the new one yet as I haven’t been willing to dive into anything that big!
Hope all is well with you and the family. Have a great weekend!
I have so many peeves I’m not sure I can pick just one.
I’m a Survivor fan. The girls watch with us every week. They love the show. I was a James fan last show, but he seems to be much more cocky this time around. Very bossy!