November 21, 2007

• Happy Thanksgiving!

  

  Thanksgiving Divorce
  
  A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,”I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
  
  “Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”
  
  Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this,”
  
  She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
  
  The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”

   

   

  The Silver Lining to the Burning Question
  You Burnt the Bird?
  A Dozen Reasons to Be Thankful!

  • Salmonella won’t be a concern

  • No one will overeat.

  • Everyone will think it’s Cajun Blackened.

  • Uninvited guests will think twice next year.

  • Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newly found appreciation.

  • Pets won’t pester you for scraps.

  • The smoke alarm was due for a test.

  • Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.

  • After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.

  • The less turkey Uncle George eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.

  • You’ll get to the desserts quicker.

  • You won’t have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.

    

  True Stories From The Butterball Turkey Hotline,
  where people call to get advice
  how to cook a Turkey from the experts
  
  * Thanksgiving Dinner on the run. A woman called 1-800-323-4848 to
  find out how long it would take to roast her turkey. To answer
  the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the
  bird weighed. The woman responded, “I don’t know, it’s still
  running around outside.”
  
  * Tofu turkey? No matter how you slice it, Thanksgiving just isn’t
  Thanksgiving without turkey. A restaurant owner in California
  wanted to know how to roast a turkey for a vegetarian menu
  
  * Then there’s the time a lady was picking through the frozen
  turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough
  for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get
  any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

  ---

  Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Hope you all have a great Turkey Day! I’m off to clean before company arrives, and then it cooking, eating, and most of all…. enjoying my family and friends at this special time of year.  So much to be thankful for: my health, (what it is), my wonderful loving husband, my great kids, my family and friends, the food on our table and the clothes on our backs, our loving animals who give us comfort and joy, our wonderful house that provides shelter, and all the other gifts in our lives. I hope that all of you can enjoy this season and be thankful for all you have.

  
  
  Happy Thanksgiving Graphics provided by MySpaceGraphicsandAnimations.net

  • 12:52 pm
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