February 13, 2006

• The Trouble with Patio Furniture

  Since we are having my folks come visit (in just 2 days!! but who’s counting?), we have been working on getting the house cleaned up, some minor repairs and a few new items like pillows (old ones were VERY old).

  
  

  One of the repairs was going to be the four wicker chairs I ended up getting for free after a neighbor couldn’t sell them at her garage sale. Unfortunately, since getting them: 1) the dog (still a puppy at the time) shredded each cushion, one by one, they were old and the material was dry rotted, but they were still usable and more importantly, they protected the painted wicker from the elements, 2) They received an unprecedented amount of exposure to wind, rain and sun. So I was going to work on these, gluing lose wicker and hitting them with a new coat of paint and some new cushions and buy a small table to go with them. While examining the damage Hubby said “yeah I think they be just fine” and sat down in one. Then because I commented how Squirt had noticed the supports needed work, he bounced in his seat and said “they’ll be fine”. CRACK — nope, not fine. All four seats were completely rotted out. They took a trip to the dump and we took a trip to Wally World to find some replacements.

  
  

  Being military, we want serviceable and durable, not stylish, heavy and expensive. So… we narrow our choices down and decide to get a really nice set that has 6 chairs (a bonus for when we have company — like in TWO DAYS!) and a large table and small occasional table. Hubby grabs the tag, we finish our shopping extravaganza, and head to the check out.

  
  

  Like most Wally Worlds, on Saturdays ours is packed (add that to the fact it’s the only one on the island — you get the picture). The garden center has all four registers open and they all have 10-15 people in line. We finally make it to the register. The cashier calls for a garden associate to come and check if it’s in stock. (we know it is, we’ve already checked ourselves, but she can’t take our word for it). Tick, tock, tick tock, No Associate. People behind us are looking impatient. Hubby offers to show friendly checker where it is so she can go ahead and ring it up. Finally she concedes to this after determining that the garden associate is possibly trapped in another dimension,  they leave, come back a minute later and bar code in hand start the sale.

  
  

  Oops…. what’s this? It’s not ringing up right. That’s not the right price. Friendly checker leaves the register again and calls again. After several more calls a supervisor shows up… what the problem? The supervisor gets out her magic walkie talkie and calls for a garden associate. Her mojo must have mo-jetted, cause no one shows up. Hubby suggests that we just remove that item and let the rest of the (now extremely unhappy people) move on. Nope, can’t do that till we get a garden associate out here to figure out what’s going on. Tick tock, tick tock.

  
  

  I can see that the other customers are now plotting against us. I see conspiratorial looks and knowing nods. I begin to fear for our safety and request that hubby demand that she remove the offensive piece of patio furniture and wait patiently for the garden associate to return from his pakalolo lunch. A Manager shows up and calls on his walkie talkie, but he has the mojo and poof… there’s the garden associate! He allows cashier to remove item, saving us all from terrible bloodshed, while they straighten out the patio set mess. Five minutes later, we have the proper bar code, we cut in line (by the cashiers insistence and to my great relief) and complete our purchase. We load it onto the trailer (which garden associate claimed was mo’ better a he dindt hav to lift yeah? — told you, pakalolo lunch). It took us almost 30 minutes in line. I can only imagine those poor souls stuck behind us cursing their bad luck to have chosen the wrong line once again.

  
  

  I think buying that furniture was the most traumatic thing I’ve done in awhile. It doesn’t quite compare to when I donated a car for a friend (Yes ThisIsBullDookie — it was all D’s fault!!!! — oh and Hubby’s for not taking care of it before he left!). Someday I’ll have to tell you about that.

  
  

  Have you had trouble in stores — or have you plotted against someone who was holding up the line? Inquiring minds want to know!

  • 1:00 pm
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